How To Talk About Yourself Without Feeling Like A Fraud

Sometimes, the hardest story to tell is your own.

Not because you don’t believe in it, but because somewhere between humility and fear, your voice forgets how to stand tall.

You know that moment. Someone asks what you do, and suddenly your throat tightens. Your mind goes blank, your confidence tiptoes out the back door, and you catch yourself downplaying your experience, softening your expertise, adding a disclaimer before you've even finished the sentence. (even typing this makes my mind anxious)

"I'm just…"
"I'm still learning…"
"It's nothing major, but…"

This is you disappearing. Not true humility. And beneath it all, there's this quiet wondering: Do I even deserve to take up space in this conversation?

If this feels familiar, you're not alone. Most of us were never taught how to speak about ourselves with ease. We were told that talking about our work is arrogant, that naming listing our achievements was bragging, and that the polite thing to do was to stay small and let the work speak for itself.

But here's the tender truth: your work can't speak if no one knows it exists.

Why It Feels Like Fraud.

I know this feeling intimately. The voice that whispers:

"Who am I to call myself an expert?"
"Other people are better than me."
"What if someone realises I don't actually know everything?"

These thoughts are fears (not truths) dressed in reason. They're your mind's way of trying to keep you safe from judgment, rejection, or the risk of being seen and misunderstood.

But here's what that voice doesn't tell you: everyone feels this way. The person you admire who seems so effortlessly confident? They've fought over the same thoughts. The founder who sounds so sure about their work? They've stumbled over their own words too.

The difference isn't that they've conquered self-doubt. It's that they chose to speak anyway, not because the fear disappeared, but because their message mattered more than their discomfort.

“Imposter Syndrome isn’t proof you’re a fraud, but rather, it’s proof you’re stretching into something new.”

The Difference Between Bragging And Simply Being Clear.

Let's untangle something here: talking about your work isn't bragging.

Bragging is when you inflate your achievements to seem better than others. It's performative, comparison-driven, hollow.

Clarity grounds because it is honest and rooted and in purpose. It’s simply saying: "Here's what I've done. Here's what I’ve learned. Here's how I can help."

No posturing. Just truth, spoken softly.

When you speak about your work with clarity, you're not asking for validation. You're giving people the information they need to find you, trust you, remember you.

“Owning your expertise is about being clear.”

Small Shifts That Might Help

If the thought of talking about yourself makes your chest tighten, here are a few gentle ways forward to ease in:

🪭 Think of it as helping, not selling.
You're not promoting yourself. You're helping someone understand if you're what they need. Clarity saves everyone time.

🪭 Share what you've learned, not just what you've achieved.
Instead of listing titles or milestones, talk about the lessons behind them. "I've spent years learning how to help founders find their voice" lands softer (and truer) than any title ever could.

🪭 Try "I help" language.
It's simple and human. When I get asked what I do, I say: "I help people build personal brands that feel like home", and that says everything without saying too much.

🪭 Practice out loud.
Yes, even if it feels silly. Say what you do. Say it again. Let it live in your mouth until the words stop feeling like an outfit that doesn’t fit.

🪭 Let others speak for you sometimes.
Testimonials and referrals are both marketing tools and permission slips. When someone names what you do well, let their words hold you up until yours find their footing.

“Speaking clearly about yourself is the truest form of self-respect.”

Your Expertise Doesn’t Need Permission.

Here's something I wish I'd known sooner: you don't need to feel "ready" to claim your expertise.

You don't need one more certificate, one more glowing testimonial, one more person to tell you you’re good enough to prove you're worthy.

If you've helped someone (even if that someone was yourself), you have something valuable to share.

Your knowledge doesn't need external validation to be real. It only need your voice to claim it.

“You don’t need permission to claim what you already know.”

What People Are Really Listening For.

When you talk about yourself, people aren't searching for perfection. They're searching for clarity.

They want to know:
What do you do?
Who do you help?
How might you help me?

That's it. That's all.

They don't need your life story or a flawless elevator pitch. They just need enough truth to feel your alignment.

So maybe it’s time to stop overthinking it, stop apologising before you’ve begun, stop shrinking your story to make others more comfortable.

What if you simply spoke clearly and truthfully, and trusted that the right people would hear you?

“Clarity is kinder than the kind of humility that hides your light.”

Why This Matters For How You’re Remembered.

Your personal brand is shaped in the way you speak about what you do.

If you can't name your value, how will anyone else? If you keep softening your expertise every time you introduce yourself, how would others know to trust it?

When you speak with calm confidence (not bravado or loudness), people lean in. They remember you. They associate your presence with peace and purpose.

And that's the foundation of any strong personal brand: not being the loudest voice in the room, but being the clearest.

“Your brand isn’t built on what you know, but on how clearly you can share it.”

What I’m Learning.

I'm still learning how to talk about myself without shrinking first.

To say "I'm a brand strategist" without rushing to play it down. To own the work I've done wrapping it in disclaimers just so others feel comfortable.

Some days, I manage it. Other days, I still stumble and I disappear a little. But each time I speak the truth of my work, it becomes less awkward and more mine.

So if you've been hiding your expertise, waiting for permission to take up space, consider this your gentle nudge:

You're allowed to be seen.
You're allowed to speak.
You're allowed to take up space without apology.

Not because you're perfect. But because you're present. And the world needs what only you can offer.

“The world doesn’t need you smaller. It needs you clear.”